In today’s world, disagreements and conflict seem ever-present—whether among nations, communities, or even closer to home. You may have had some heated, politically charged, discussions with family members during the holidays. For us, the challenge is not only to navigate these tensions but to transform them through the cultivation of lovingkindness, or metta. Theravada Buddhism, rooted in the teachings of the historical Buddha, offers us guidance—to extend goodwill and compassion to all beings, even those we perceive as adversaries.
The Buddha’s teachings on lovingkindness are both simple and radical. In the Metta Sutta (Sn 1.8), he encourages practitioners to cultivate an all-encompassing love: “Let one cultivate an unlimited heart of goodwill for all beings, radiating kindness over the entire world.” This instruction is not limited to friends or those we like. As a matter of fact, the Buddha explicitly asks us to extend lovingkindness to those we may consider enemies. He says in the suttas that: “Even if bandits were to sever you limb by limb with a two-handled saw, he who gave rise to anger would not be following my teaching.” The radical nature of this teaching is clear: lovingkindness is to be offered unconditionally, regardless of circumstances or personal feelings.
The practice of metta is not a denial of reality, but a transformation of it. The Buddha teaches that by practicing lovingkindness, we purify the heart-mind and create harmony. This is especially relevant for those of us who encounter divisiveness and disagreement in daily life.
Anger is a powerful emotion, deeply rooted in the human psyche. It often arises in response to perceived threats, injustice, or disagreement. From a psychological perspective, anger can serve as a protective mechanism, signaling boundaries or motivating action. Yet, from a Buddhist perspective, unchecked anger leads to suffering—both for ourselves and others. The Buddha recognized this tendency, describing anger as a “poison” that clouds judgment and obstructs wisdom.
In the Dhammapada, the Buddha tells us, “One who restrains anger as a charioteer controls a rolling chariot, him I call a true driver; others merely hold the reins.” This metaphor highlights the importance of mindfulness and restraint in the face of anger’s momentum. For meditators, the challenge is not to suppress anger, but to observe it with clarity, investigation, and compassion, recognizing its impermanent nature.
How, then, does lovingkindness counter the force of anger, especially toward those with whom we disagree? The Buddha’s teachings suggest that the cultivation of metta is both preventative and curative. By intentionally (stubbornly?) radiating goodwill—first toward ourselves, then toward loved ones, then strangers, and finally those we find difficult—we weaken the habitual patterns of aversion and hostility.
So, during meditation, when thoughts of resentment or anger arise toward a particular person, gently shift your focus to wishing them well. “May you be happy. May you be free from dukkha.” Over time, this practice softens the heart and helps transform the relationship—not by ignoring conflict, but by meeting it, head-on, with compassion.
Thich Nhat Hanh offered profound insight regarding anger. He wrote in his book Anger that, “When anger arises, we must care for our anger as we would care for a little baby, with tenderness.” This approach aligns closely with the Buddha’s instructions—emphasizing mindfulness and gentle attention rather than suppression or denial.
Thay also wrote, “Understanding is the fruit of meditation. When you look deeply into your anger, you see that the person you call your enemy is also suffering.”
Regular practice of metta meditation has the power to gradually dissolve anger and aversion, fostering a sense of connection and compassion even in challenging situations (like that holiday dinner with the highly-opinionated Uncle Winston).
The Buddha’s instruction to offer lovingkindness to all, including our perceived enemies, is a powerful antidote to the suffering caused by anger. While our natural tendency may incline toward aversion when we are in the throes of disagreement, the practice of metta offers freedom, healing, and reconciliation. By caring for our anger and transforming it through mindfulness and compassion, we not only benefit ourselves but contribute to peace in the wider world.
In this New Year and always, may your practice be a source of deepening lovingkindness, wisdom, and joy—toward yourself, others, and all beings without exception.
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Day of Practice at Insight Meditation Fort Wayne with Susan Weir, Founding Teacher of Insight Meditation Ann Arbor, on February 28 from 9:00 AM – 4:00 PM. Join Susan as she teaches: The Map of Realization. 
In difficult times, it’s even more important to call to mind the most fundamental teachings of the Buddha. Mindfulness of Breathing seems like a simple instruction that's easy to follow, but when reading the Sutta, one can become a bit confused by what can seem like obscure language that is no longer relevant for contemporary meditators.
